Idea For A Show

Hard hitting documentary about husbands who have been physically scalded by their spouses in incidents of domestic violence…

Silent era slapstick comedy set in a Catholic church.

The 3 members of Muse battle it out in a competition to see who can make the biggest profit on renovating run-down and abandoned cottages.

No longer the fresh faced high school student of Nickelodeon, Doug Funnie scrapes a living as a bounty hunter in the narcotic riddled urban ghettos of Bluffington. Aided by his faithful companion Porkchop and crack dependant sweetheart Patti Mayonnaise the reality show follows Doug’s ongoing battle against bail-hopping Drug Lord and life-long nemesis, Roger Klotz. In his spare time he visits his old school with best friend and rehabilitated meth addict Skeeter Valentine to teach the local kids his life changing catchphrase: -“Drugs aren’t funnie, I am.”

Richard Bacon presents this weekly arts show in which he invites guest artists to recreate their favourite Francis Bacon painting using only the medium of bacon.

An experimental batch of military grade “Mary J” falls into general circulation and leads to an outbreak of Dudeism across the globe. Each episode of this twelve part drama series follows a rag bag group of survivors as they struggle to cope with the inevitably failing economy and dangerously low stocks of vodka and cream.

The animated true life story of two girls’ adventures with friendly wood spirit and Hollywood actor John Turturro in post war rural Japan.

Topical, panel-based quiz show that doubles as a thinly veiled platform for Frankie Boyle to poke fun at the elderly and infirm.

Due to the everyday stresses of work and fatherhood, a dad on the brink of bankruptcy begins to think that he is in charge of an imaginary group of ageing army men. This TV drama follows the escalating actions of a man on the edge through the eyes of his children.

With a nod to one of his most notable roles, Hollywood A-lister and Academy Award winner, Matt Damon travels along the length of the River Bourne in Dorset, England. His illuminating journey investigates the river itself and the land it has shaped in a quest to uncover the true Bourne Identity.

Potential follow-up series - The Bourne Supremacy - Matt Damon takes a similar journey along the country’s other River Bournes (the variants in Chertsey, Addletone and Wiltshire for example) in an attempt to discover which is the nation’s supreme Bourne.

One time child star of kids spookfest Eerie, Indiana, Omri Katz, surprises unsuspecting members of the public with photocopies of various parts of his body. If they can decipher the specific appendage or region, they win a minimal cash prize.

Weekly gardening programme presented by Joss “Buffy The Vampire Slayer etc” Whedon.

Children’s animated dramatisation of Guy Ritchie’s recent revelations about how he dealt with life during his tumultuous break up from 80s pop singer Madonna by seeking solace in a friendly fox that lived on his estate.

In this reality TV show, Kerry katona is to prove she is a valuable human being by looking after cats. She starts with domestic house pets then graduates to living with a pride of lions. Viewers decide whether or not to starve the big cats before each episode.

80’s Synthpop trio Bronski Beat scour the UK in their search for the ultimate Beta Vulgaris.

The Oscar that Hilary Swank won for ‘Boys Don’t Cry’ has come to life and is going absolutely Raj Tonto.

Brian Blessed rounds up clergymen and women of multi denominations and faiths and chooses his blessed ones through a series of gruelling tasks that test how much they really love jesus/muhammed/krishna…(delete as necessary).

Richard Hammond presents this hot new Saturday night TV quiz in which hunky boy-band The Wanted take on members of the public in a battle of wits and prediction ability. 

Using a combination of CGI, actors and police interviews real life car crashes are recreated down to the finest detail. The two teams (The Public v The Wanted) must then predict if the people involved in the crash ended up dead or alive. Correct answers mean points and points mean prizes from furry dice to a steering lock to a swanky new sports car. 

Do these contestants have the drive to succeed or are they just Crash Test Dummies? 

Less clever spin off titles: McFly: Dead or Alive, Harvey From So Solid Crew: Dead or Alive, Previous X-Factor Winners: Dead or Alive.

Made for TV redux version of the 90s disaster movie. Pierce Brosnan plays canonical writer Dante Alighieri, who must cope with being at the peak of his career. writing his seminal work ‘The Devine Comedy’ whilst a previously dormant volcano threatens a nearby town.